Stopping: Sounds so Easy

Previously, before children, I skated all the time for exercise.  However that was on rollerblades.  If you have never skated, there is a fundamental difference (besides the obvious quad vs. row of wheels.)  In rollerblading you stop by tilting your toe up because the stop is located behind the wheels.   On quad skates instead there is a toe stop.  If you tilt your skate up on quad skates you are going to land on your ass.  HARD.  So it is fitting that one of the first things they teach you is toe stops.  Every instinct in my body told me to lean back to stop and this made me a very wobbly stopper.  But once I figured out not to lift my toe to stop and lift my heel instead, then toe stops where pretty easy to master.  Especially when compared to the T stop.

To a new skater the T stop is daunting and feels very unnatural.  However, as you watch the veteran skaters it also looks (& sounds) very cool.   I will try to explain so you have a visual of a T stop if you have never had the opportunity to try one.  Since I am a righty I will use my right foot for this. As you are skating you essentially lift your right skate and turn your toes out at a 45 to 90 degree angle and push against the floor to bring yourself to stop.  If done effectively you will succeed in not only stopping but also making an offensive and most enjoyable grinding sound from the wheels friction on the floor.  If not executed correctly -you will only succeed in having an unattractive flopping leg look as you skate.  Kind of like you’re shaking off a leg spasm and you may possibly fall or hit the wall since you do not actually stop.   And it does not make that lovely grinding noise and instead sounds more like a thu-wump, thu-wump as a flat tire makes.  All in all, not a cool derby look.  Our fresh meat trainer, Hipburn, makes it look cool when she drags her leg, comparing it to a Zombie dragging their rear leg.  In roller derby, zombies are cool. I, however, am absolutely terrified of zombies.  I will probably have nightmares from thinking about them now.  Alas I digress, as this blog post is about stopping and not about zombies. Maybe someday I will write a blog about zombies and my imaginative plans for thwarting them for you. 

I would like to say I master the t stop quickly but I don’t.  However I don’t fall at all so that is a big plus.  It is many classes before I successfully master the T stop and many months before I successfully complete one with my left foot.  The trick for me ends up being when someone tells me to lift my inside two wheels higher and push those down after the back two touch the floor.  I can’t recall who taught me that but it is my little “aha” moment.  Once I figure that out I am the t-stopping master.  Not really, but I can at least stop instead of looking like a floppy legged zombie.

-        Knock Out Nelly

Bout day

The ice is gone, the track is laid,

The derby baked goods have all been made.

Cupcakes, cookies & skate shaped candy,

There is sweat in the air at this place called Landry.

The front end is ready to check you in,

While the skaters wriggle into derby skin.

The tables are laid with all the team merch,

The nso’s are assigned from the last minute search.

The refs meet to go over the plans,

 The doors open and in come the fans.

Tattoos, tights, and all the rest,

Skaters are in their derby best

Names and numbers worn with such pride,

Tonight promises to be one hell of a ride.

Here is the lineup, there starts the clock,

The fans cheer with each booty block.

Skate like the wind, our jammera can race

While our blockers work against their pace.

Hits that hurt, and falls that scare,

Get right up like you don’t even care.

We have all worked so hard to play,

Finally its here, today is bout day. 

---By Knockout Nelly

Into the Meat of it

Practice two on an unseasonably warm November day I feel a little more like I am supposed to be here. I strap on my skates and pads with the other fresh meat, slightly segregated from the vets.   My legs, thighs and buns aware and prepared this time for the pain they soon will experience.  We are expected to warm up with the group which actually scares the bejesus out of me, and I join them skating slowly and cautiously on the outside.  I do not attempt any of the transitions, knee pops, butt kicks, knee raises as I struggle right now with simply staying upright.   After stretching and introductions we head to the coned off area at the end to practice our falls. 

For anyone thinking of joining a fresh meat class you are going to learn basic skating skills, how to stop and fall properly.  This is to get you ready for your level 1 assessment where you have to demonstrate all these skills before you are cleared to hit.  (I am mildly disappointed that I don’t get to hit people right away.)  Skating and hitting –that’s why I signed up for and you actually get to do very little of either to start. Katherine Hipburn, our esteemed trainer, is actually teaching her first fresh meat class.  We would be Hipburn’s first students. (Thank you Hipburn-you really taught me how to kick ass with attitude!)  I am not going to bore you with much detail YET but here are the basics.  We need to master single knee falls, double knee falls (also called rockstar), baseball slide, 180 slide, toe stops, tstops, sticky skate, crossovers, and gliding on one foot.

The first of 4 these all involve going to your knees while skating.  I feel like a fool of course but you can’t imagine how hard it is to throw yourself on the ground on skates.  You have to tip forward and literally force yourself to go to the knee.  It’s entirely mental at first.  Your mind does not want your body to pitch itself to the knees.  If I did this without pads I know this would be extremely painful and so does my brain.  Until you learn that your knee pads will protect you, your instinct is to resist that falling motion and you end up with an awkward bump to the floor. (And a sore back)   Overall I think the Rockstar slide is the easiest as it takes less balance than the one knee fall.  I also cannot imagine where I will ever use the baseball slide? I am certain it is illegal to kick someone with my skates even though I have not read the entire WFTDA rule book.  Yet I really feel like I am about to kick someone every time I attempt this slide.   The 180 is more like a 90 turn when you start out.   After practice, I spend a lot of time on YouTube watching videos of other derby girls fall with ease and wonder if I will ever get there?    

From a Fresh meat perspective- Jaime

Freshmeat Class begins… 

                So the entire month of waiting has brought me to the first fresh meat class with excessive trepidation and much hype in my own mind.   Of course I have only put on my brand new skates 2 times in the 3 weeks that I have owned them.  The first time was in my kitchen the very week I bought them, where I then fell and kicked my 3 year old, bringing her to tears.  She lectured me for days that “we are not allowed to wear skates in the house”.  The 2^nd time I put them on was right before driving to this class to pose for a photo in full derby gear for Facebook.  

Optimistic in my new gear!

So it is here I find myself walking into Roll On America for the first time ever, not having actually skated in 6 + years.   Open skate is happening and I stand around looking lost near the entrance with my neighbor until a roller girl finds us there and points us in the right direction.  We are taken to a dark, cold, crowded (slightly scary) back room where a group of girls & women are already gathered with paperwork.  And yes I am exaggerating but not for the last time I wonder if I am in the right place. 

                We, the fresh meat, are introduced to a few of the vet skaters, a Bad Ass Mama, a Juggz and a Meanie.  As someone who is psychotically organized I find the meeting mildly confusing with several folks chiming in with different opinions. (I later attribute this to recent changes in the league).  The girls around the table seem to regard each other with bewilderment or possibly this is my own reflection?  As I size them up, most appear to look much more badass than me and all look far cooler.  After introductions, in which one future skater introduces herself as having been shot recently (WHAT!?), I again wonder if I am in the right place.  But I join the rest of the group in strapping on my new pads and lacing up my skates. And try not to throw up on the floor.

                Cautiously we make our way onto the rink and I think possibly I will never be able to do this as I watch the leveled up derby girls. They race around the small track with such determination and turn in a blink to the whistle.  I am in awe of them as I struggle to just stay upright on my skates and learn about derby stance and using my toe stop to stand.   This is much harder than you would imagine, not using your hand to get up when on skates.  My thighs are not prepared for these any of these moves and protest in agony.   We learn basic moves that night, a variety of knee falls, toes stops and the impossible t-stop.  I will go into details later about learning these moves but the highlight of that class was stealing glances at the real practice.  I can’t imagine popping off me knees like they do, or sprinting and hitting.   But as my immature, weak legs find their derby balance, I yearn to let go and skate the track. And I know that in my heart I am in the right place.

From a Freshmeat perspective- Jaime

Derby Shopping...

So Roller Derby is actually an expensive sport.  But are any sports ever cheap?  Originally when Bad Ass said in her email about the fresh meat class that it was just monthly dues to sign up and annual insurance fee I was like, Score! This is cheaper than when I took yoga.  But her email also said that we needed a helmet, kneepads, elbow pads, wrist pads, and a mouth guard. (Oh and of course roller skates!)  We could borrow the equipment to start but my overactive imagination imagined the sweat of other past derby skaters that used that equipment and I chose to buy.   So one uneventful Saturday afternoon my neighbor and I, along with my 3 year old daughter drove the hour to the Bruised Boutique in Nashua, NH.  Of course we checked out the website but both thought it was best to actually try this stuff on since we had 0 experience with any of this gear.


I had done my homework ahead of time, checking out gear guides and recommendations online and knew where I wanted to spend my bucks.  I wanted better than good knee pads as I knew I would spend a lot of time falling on them.  And I also wanted a skate with a leather boot and a purple helmet.  Did I mention that I research things to death before I buy?  In the store we tried on helmets first.  And of course I have a giant melon and could only get an extra large helmet which meant – noooo purple! Boo!  It was white or black for me so armed with my new white helmet we tried on skates.  We tried on the base package skate first but my wide feet objected to my squished toes.  So I went with the next Rebel skate up which by no coincidence came in PURPLE!! At that moment, I decided Roller derby was definitely fate. 

My Purple Skates!!!

After that it was on to the pads where I settled on the basic Triple 8 elbow and wrist pads.  But for the knee pads I upgraded to the Scabs.  I embraced my inner derby and passed up the basic black for the Psycho pattern.  Then I picked up my least favorite accessory, the cumbersome but very necessary, mouth guard.  Tip on the mouth guard for other newbies- Buy a couple!!!  Heck by 3 or 4 once you find one you like.  This mouth guard and the one after would fall to tragedy quickly. After all the equipment was settled on, my daughter helped me pick out my first knee socks.  I am not yet ready to brave the tiny shorts and derby miniskirts just yet.  Knee socks, tights & equipment in hand, I slap down my visa debit– committing myself further to pursuing roller derby.   




From a Freshmeat Perspective - Nelly

Does Roller Derby Still Exist?

Prior to October 2011 - I didn’t think so. Then I saw this ad in my local news daily email: Join Central Mass Roller Derby for Fresh Meat Class. I was like whoa- roller derby????. I get to skate and possibly hit people? People really still do this? Turns out that they do still and they have been since it started in the 1930’s. While I think derby lost its popularity when I was in my tween years (or maybe earlier?) - I will borrow Wikipedia’s terminology and say that the 2000’s have brought about an “amateur revival”. And that day I thought maybe I could derby and in a spur of the moment decision I posted the news story to my neighbor’s Facebook page and asked if she would be up for joining with me.

Fast forward 3 days later and with that weekend’s Dutch courage in our system we are emailing the CMRD website (now Bay state Brawlers - woo hoo!!!) asking how to join. An email comes back from someone named Lisa, aka. BA, aka. BadAssMama and I get my first twinge of butterflies. Am I actually cool/strong/athletic/bad ass enough to do this? In a flurry of watching YouTube videos the last few days I am not sure, 1. - If I can even still roller skate and 2. Can I wear shorts that short? Never mind that I could possibly break something- where do I get knee socks and those cute little skirts? For better or worse a field trip is planned for several weeks later to the region’s local (1 hour from us) Roller Derby Store, the Bruised Boutique.

I should mention at this point that I have never in my life played a team sport besides occasional subs on my husband’s softball league years ago. And that it has been 6+ years since I strapped on my roller blades and probably 20 years since I was on actual roller skates. Also that although I have lost 35lbs this past year I am still not in great shape and need to lose at least 35lbs more. And that my husband (and rest of the family) thinks I am kidding and / or having some sort of midlife crisis. But I am serious and very motivated to be the next greatest a roller derby chick! Or at least to play in my local roller derby amateur league and not get killed….

This is me being mom & so not bad ass…

From a Fresh Meat perspective- Jaime