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Sunday, October 28, 2012

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I am at home in full gear: kneepads, elbowpads, wrist guards, mouthguard, helmet and of course, the skates. The skates themselves are the root of my home and the center of my belonging. I listen to them and they listen to me. With them, I feel the rush and energy of a burn pace, the excitement of a good hit, and they are with whom I share most intimately the victory of a triumphant jam. This is my place, this is how I live, this is who I have become. This is the person I have embraced, and who I am proud to be.

I am myself on the track, and I judge myself only by my own limitations. I don’t compare myself to others, or think, ‘Why can’t I be more like her? Why can’t I be as pretty or skinny as her?” None of that is relevant. Though I know I could be better, I also know that wishing for it is no way to make it happen. Wishing and dreaming isn’t the same as doing, and I know that the more I push myself and the harder I train, I will reach my goal one day. It will come, eventually, with practice. Hours and hours of practice. A great skater once told me, “In order to have endurance, you must first endure.” I think that could not be more true. Fighting that internal battle of “Am I good enough?” is irrelevant, because I will only ever be as good as I allow myself to be. If I stop halfway through, I am only hurting my ability to endure.

Who am I? I am every skater who believes in herself. I aim to capture the spirit of the ambitious skater. Though I don’t always match up to my highest expectations, I work as hard as I possibly can to improve. The pain I feel in minor injuries only fuels me to skate faster, train harder, and get up quicker from a big hit. If I can improve, even only by a little bit each day, then I am succeeding.

- Lana GetDirty #450

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